A Mysterious Book
La Livre des Lignes (The Book of Lines) taught a small order of Benedictine monks to live la vie de la ligne, unlocking the door to immortality. No complete copy of the book exists, and its origins are shrouded in mystery. What monastic records tell us is that l'Abbé de La Ligne brought the book to Chipping Camden, where the monks first tried to burn it as evidence of witchcraft.
Their attitude changed when, as one scribe recorded, the Abbé "offered ye monkes a longe liste of preuves that he had lived somme 317 yeares." From then on, the Linists venerated the book as a sacred object to be studied, followed, and protected.
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Unfortunately, this last proved difficult. The existing fragments of the book show damage from fire, candle wax, rodents, and axe marks from Henry VII's soldiers who believed that part of their mission in destroying the monastery was to "kille ye booke." Even so, what is left provides a tantalizing view of the life of a Linist.
What the Fragments Tell Us
The fragment at left reminds us that even the most studious monks can find pleasure in wordplay. The ornately illuminated "Q" is used to represent the word "queue," which of course means "line."
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Other fragments offer practical guidance to living la vie de la ligne. Immediately upon waking, Linists lined up for confession, and their day was demarcated by lines: for breakfast, eucharist, lunch, tea, and dinner.
In between, they spent hours in their labyrinth, standing in single-file lines. Once a month, during the three days proceeding the full moon, they would undertake what they called "ye double faste," where they would neither eat nor sleep. They would stand in the labyrinth, maintaining a perfectly straight line and praying. Each monk was allowed to bring a blanket to combat the English chill, and the book taught them to ward off hunger by sucking their thumbs.
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Interesting, then, that we see this Linist behavior in a 20th- century character named...Linus. Was Charles Schulz a Linist? Or is he still one, alive somewhere, quietly bringing joy to the masses as every Linist aspires to? Only time will tell.